


Find A Way

by lucasashtons



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Humor, M/M, i'm sorry it got really sad near the end, it's comical and then it gets sad so, my bad - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucasashtons/pseuds/lucasashtons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Ashton attempted to get back together with Luke and the one time it worked</p>
            </blockquote>





	Find A Way

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely based off of a Lashton playlist I made after being bored one night. You can find said playlist [ here](http://8tracks.com/lucasashtons/find-a-way)

1

It’s been two months and Ashton isn’t really sure when he’s going to start functioning like a normal human being again.

It’s been two whole months of avoiding eye contact in the hallways at school, ignoring questions from people around him asking ‘what happened?’ and two months of pretending that he isn’t as heartbroken as he is. Ashton thought he had been putting up a pretty good façade, thought he had everyone fooled into thinking he was okay and that the break up really wasn’t as awful as it really was. Turns out he wasn’t that great of an actor.

It’s a Thursday, meaning that it’s only one day away from truly being the weekend and Ashton can spend another weekend moping around in his room writing lyrics and banging away on his drums. Lately it’s been the only thing keeping him sane, which isn’t saying much considering his lyrics are lacking and his drum sticks have taken quite a beating. He’s not sure how much more angry, heartbroken banging they can take.

He enters the cafeteria at lunch the same as he has the past two months since the breakup: his head down low, avoiding eye contact, ignoring anyone that could approach him with the topic of his old relationship at the tip of their tongues. All he wants is some lunch and to be alone at one of the tables. He tries not to glance over at his old table, the one he spent countless lunches sharing kisses and sweet word with his ex. It’s worked for two full months, until today when he’s suddenly crashing into someone in the middle of his walk towards a table.

Of course, because it’s been him against the universe since that fateful day, that person happens to be Luke.

“Sorry,” Luke mumbles under his breath, Ashton almost missing the apology as his ex gets up and picks his empty sack lunch up off the ground. His eyes are avoiding meeting Ashton’s as he begins to walk towards the trash cans and Ashton decides then and there to make this pain all end.

“Luke!”

The cafeteria has suddenly grown silent at Ashton’s call, all eyes on the two of them as Luke turns back to stare at Ashton, his face red with embarrassment. He doesn’t say anything, only stares back at Ashton, blinking.

Ashton wrings his hands, his sack lunch still in his grip as he glances down at the bag with nervousness. “We can’t just keep avoiding each other like this. We can’t keep passing each other in the hallway and not think about what happened between us. I need you to talk to me, I need you to love me again.” And he feels all of the eyes of his classmates staring at him, and he doesn’t really know why he decided to make this announcement in front of them because he’s never been the center of attention, never been fond of it either. “What do you say?”

“Fuck you.” Is all Luke says as he’s storming out of the cafeteria and towards the halls, leaving Ashton to just watch him as he goes. The cafeteria is suddenly filled with chatter once again and from what Ashton picks up, it’s all about him and Luke.

 

2

Ashton can’t believe he’s about to do this.

He’s currently standing underneath Luke’s bedroom window, a boom box at his feet with a Blink 182 CD inside, and about the stupidest plan in the world about to take action.

After the incident in the cafeteria, Ashton had decided he was going to do whatever it takes to get Luke back. He’d spent the entire day going through various movies, trying to get an idea of how to get Luke back into his arms and the only thing that seemed to really stand out was John Cusack’s infamous boom box playing a song while standing outside a window thing.

Ashton takes a deep breath before pressing play on the boom box, the opening of ‘I Miss You’ starting to play from the speakers as he holds the thing over his head. He knows he looks ridiculous, and that there are probably a million other ways that he could get Luke back aside from this, but he remembers back when they were dating what Luke said about this: he thought it was romantic and even joked that if Ashton did it, it would be the cutest thing in the world.

Hopefully he still kept that in mind.

Right as the chorus begins, Ashton sees Luke opening up his bedroom window, peering down at his ex. Ashton shoots him a large, dimply smile, holding the boom box up higher as Luke continues to just stare blankly at him, no expression on his face. He’s suddenly yelling something, but Ashton can’t hear him over the music.

“What?” Ashton shouts, shutting the song off and looking back up at Luke. His heart is thudding in his chest, hope filling him up as Luke leans out the window and says:

“Don’t make me hate my favorite song Ashton!” before slamming the window shut and closing the curtains.

3

Ashton is getting pretty fucking desperate and he hates himself for it.

He’s currently sitting in Michael’s bedroom, surrounded by various sticky notes while Michael is sitting in front of his TV with Calum watching some stupid show they found on cable. They’ve been no help whatsoever in his quest to get Luke to get back together with him and quite frankly he wasn’t sure why he was even letting them in on this entire endeavor. After all, it’s not like they took his side when the break up happened.

(Granted, they both decided to be Switzerland about it all but that wasn’t the point.)

“This idea better get Luke back,” Ashton mumbles to himself as he finishes up one last sticky note before putting the pad of them in his bag. It’s fool proof in his mind, his latest idea. In about an hour Luke will see the sticky notes scattered all over his locker, see what’s written on them, and then fall right into Ashton’s arms. It’s perfect.

“We hope so too,” Michael admits, shutting the TV off and grabbing his back pack off of his bed and slinging it over his shoulders. “I for one am completely sick of you moping about this entire thing. It makes you look completely pathetic. Cal?”

Calum nods, all three of them leaving Michael’s bedroom and heading towards the front door to pile into Michael’s car. They had all spent the night at Michael’s the night before at Ashton’s request, mainly because he wanted his friend’s help at getting Luke back. They were the only other people in the entire school that knew what Luke would love and he was forever grateful that at least they stayed friends with Luke after everything.

Once they arrive at the school, Ashton darted straight towards Luke’s locker with the sticky notes. If he remembers correctly, Luke always shows up late for school and won’t happen to notice all of the notes until after Ashton’s gone and away from the scene. While he wants to see Luke’s reaction to it all, he’d rather admire it from afar than up close just in case in blows up in his face again.

This one, of course, won’t though. After all, it is fool-proof.

“Pathetic,” Michael tells him as the last of the sticky notes are stuck to the front of Luke’s locker, both of them standing back to take in their work. “Seriously you are going to such great lengths to get Luke to like you. How hard is it to just go up to him and work out whatever the fuck it was that cause you to break up?”

That was the thing though: Ashton didn’t even know what caused them to break up. He just remembers Luke approaching him one morning before school and calling it off, stating that he just couldn’t do it anymore. They haven’t even really talked since and okay, Ashton was pretty pathetic for that.

Calum suddenly comes darting around the corner, stopping right in front of them to catch his breath. “Luke’s here!” he says, tugging at the two of them so they could hide away from sight and watch Luke’s reaction. Their hiding spots are definitely not the best (behind other people’s lockers, genius), it still hides them the slightest bit from Luke so it’s better than nothing.

Ashton watches as Luke walks up to his locker, brows furrowed as he picks up one of the notes and reads it, a smile growing onto his face. He watches as Luke reads note after note that smile permeant on his face, even a giggle erupting from him every now and then. It’s the exact reaction Ashton was hoping for.

Until it wasn’t.

Suddenly Luke was tearing down all of the notes and dumping them into the garbage, a frown replacing what was his dazzling smile before he opens his locker and slams it shut, heading towards his first class of the day. Ashton feels hands pat his back as Michael and Calum emerge from their hiding spots with sympathetic smiles.

“Sorry Ash,” Calum says, walking towards his next class as Michael sticks behind, offering to walk Ashton towards his class.

“I thought that would work,” Ashton sighs, his happy mood dispersing. “Why didn’t it work?”

“I’m not sure Ash, I’m not Luke,” Michael replies before stopping outside of Ashton’s class. “I’ll try talking to him, okay? I really do want the two of you to work this out.” He gives Ashton a quick hug before darting of to his own class, leaving Ashton wondering what more he could do.

 

4

It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book, but that doesn’t stop Ashton from trying it.

He’s walking towards Luke’s house, with a bouquet of fucking flowers and from what the guy at the flower shop told him, this bouquet in particular means ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Forgive me’. Ashton doesn’t really know too much about flowers, nor does he know about their meanings, but he really does hope this is the trick that works.

He leaves them at Luke’s doorstep and quickly rings the doorbell before darting off. He’d already left a note with the flower saying who they are from and hopefully when Luke sees them it at least lets him know that Ashton wants to work things out.

Once again, the universe really, really, hates Ashton.

“You are such an asshole!” is the first thing Luke says to him later that day when they are standing in the parking lot at school. Ashton was about to get in his car when Luke came storming up to him, flowers in hand and, as of now, all in Ashton’s hair. “Glad to know how you feel finally! Fuck you!” He storms off in a huff as Ashton tries to pick the various Yellow Carnations and Bachelor’s Buttons out of his hair. He’s approached by a laughing Calum and Ashton raises a middle finger to his chuckling friend.

“You are such an idiot!” Calum tells him as he helps pick some of the flowers out of his hair. “Out of all the flowers you could have chosen, you chose the two most offensive ones? You really don’t want Luke back I guess.”

Ashton shoots him a confused glance. “What do you mean most offensive? The guy at the flower shop told me these flowers meant forgiveness!” He blows a Bachelor Button petal out of his face as he frowns.

“No they don’t,” Calum tells him.  “You know how my mother happens to find an interest in something and proceeds to tell all of us about it? Well, this year’s obsession is meanings behind things, starting with flowers. You my friend, gave Luke a Yellow Carnation, meaning “You are such a disappointment.” As for the Bachelor Buttons, you pretty much just told Luke you we’re happy being single.”

Ashton officially hates flowers.

5

A skywriter.

He knows it’s cheesy and probably even more stupid than his lame boom box idea, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s pretty much at wit’s end and if this doesn’t work out for him he thinks he’ll give up.

It’s just a matter of getting Luke outside of his house to see the skywriter and read what he has to say. That task he’s left in charge of Michael and Calum, who were currently inside Luke’s house trying to coerce him into actually leaving his bedroom and taking a peek up at the sky.

“Why does it matter?” Ashton hears Luke groan from behind him and he turns to see Michael and Calum practically dragging him out the door. It’s the first time he’s been this close to Luke since he smacked him with the flowers yesterday, and the first time he’s really taken in Luke’s appearance since their break up.

What he sees is quite painful.

Luke’s eyes are red and swollen, his nose scrunching up with each sniffle that comes out. His hair is stuffed underneath a beanie and he’s actually wearing sweatpants. Ashton had only seen him wear sweatpants once throughout their entire relationship, and it was during the time when Molly, Luke’s dog, had passed away. He only wore sweatpants when he was miserable.

Ashton suddenly realizes how wrapped up in his own world he’s been. He knows how much the break up hurt him, but never once did he think about what Luke was going through. He didn’t think about if it had hurt Luke, despite the fact that he was the one who ended it.

They lock eyes then, blue meeting with hazel and Luke looks absolutely heartbroken.

“Why?” Luke asks him, Michael and Calum letting him go as he is finally steady on his own feet. “Why do you keep trying to get me back? Why are you suddenly deciding to care about our relationship? Can’t you see that maybe I don’t want you back? Maybe I don’t want to go back to a relationship with someone who can’t even notice that his feelings are not the most important thing in the world.”

“What do you mean suddenly I care?” Ashton asks, trying to keep his voice level but he can feel anger rising. “I have been miserable these past two months Luke. I’ve been trying so hard to get you back into my life and all I’ve got in return is you screaming at me. I’m sorry for wanting to go back to what was the best year of my life with you. I’m sorry!”

Luke shakes his head, a harsh laugh leaving his mouth. “You don’t even know why we broke up Ashton. Figure that out first, and maybe I’ll consider taking you back. For now, get your head out of your ass and realize that you are not the only one who’s spent the last two months heartbroken.” He then walks back to the house, Michael and Calum not even bothering to stop him. Ashton’s left standing there, his mind reeling through what Luke said as he tries to piece together what he could have possibly meant by Ashton suddenly caring about their relationship.

As he stands there, the skywriter flies by.

_I love you._

+1

It’s been a month.

He’s pretty much given up on trying to get back together with Luke, deciding to respect Luke’s wishes and leave him alone. It’s hard waking through the halls at school and seeing Luke smiling, laughing with other people, but in a way, it makes Ashton happy. Luke’s no longer miserable and that’s definitely something that cheers Ashton up.

The past month has left him thinking about how things ended between them. He’s mostly been thinking about what he had brought to the relationship and trying to decipher what Luke meant by him never caring. He plays every moment between them back in his head, trying to find a pattern that will match Luke’s words but he’s only left with confusion and sadness.

His songwriting has managed to get better though, now that he has plenty to write about. It was strained at the beginning of the break up, most of the lyrics containing various curse words directed towards Luke or lyrics that were just painfully heartbreaking and were mostly just rambles. This time though, Ashton knew what to write about.

Which is why he finds himself standing outside of Luke’s house again, clutching a CD in his hand with the song he wrote. He thinks of it as his final shot, hoping that no matter what Luke thinks of it the blond boy at least comes back into his life as a friend. He poured his heart and soul out onto the song before recording it on his shitty computer, but it was something that needed to be said.

After three months, it had finally dawned on Ashton what went wrong.

*

_Hey Luke._

Hearing Ashton’s voice was painful to say the least. It had been an entire month since he’d last spoken to his ex-boyfriend and Luke was pretty sure he was still broken. Ashton had been right, it had been the best year of their lives, but that entire year was filled with what Luke could only call ‘one sided love’.

At first he thought it was because Ashton had never dated a guy before. He’d dated a few girls in middle school, but when it came to high school he’d told Luke about the crush he’s had for a while and they had begun to date not even an hour after the confession.

Luke had been slow about it, knowing that Ashton was nervous about being in a relationship with a guy. Luke was just as nervous, because they were best friends that had decided to take a pretty big step and become something more. It was terrifying to him but he dove in with nothing but hope in his heart. He knew it was going to hurt him in the end.

 _I thought about what you said, how I didn’t care about our relationship and only cared about my feelings. I guess you were right in a way. I was terrified of being with you, knowing that if we broke up our friendship would be ruined._ There’s a harsh chuckle. _I guess it pretty much is, considering you won’t talk to me._

_You are probably sick of hearing me say this, but I’m sorry. I know why you broke it off now, and I understand why. You deserve so much better than me. You deserve someone who will put you above everyone else and not be afraid to show it to the world. You deserve someone who will cherish you and love you and makes sure that you know how much you mean to them every single day._

_I didn’t do that for you. I didn’t because,_ Luke hears Ashton take a shaky breath, and he can just imagine him recording this, tears running down his face. It breaks his heart even more. _I was terrified of loving you. I had never loved someone before in my life, aside from my family. Loving you was thrilling and scary, and I decided to be the coward who ran away when he got scared._

_I never told you ‘I love you’. Those sticky notes I left you, I know why you tore them down now. None of them said anything about ‘love’, only saying ‘I like this’ or ‘I like that’. Never once did I say ‘I love’._

_That day Michael and Calum dragged you outside, I had hired a skywriter. It’s stupid, I’m aware of that. I had asked them to write ‘I love you’ in the sky for you to see, because I wanted the world to see that I did love you, I still love you._

_I wrote this song about the things I forgot to tell you when we were together, the things that could have kept us together. It’s called, Everything I Didn’t Say, and uh, I hope you like it._

Luke feels tears spill down his cheeks as Ashton’s voice fills his car speakers. He’s been sitting in the driveway of his house, about to head to Michael’s but instead listening to the CD he had found on the front step that morning. The only thing that had been written on it was ‘Please Listen – Ash’. He’d been hesitant, not really wanting anything more to do with Ashton Irwin, but something made him put it in his CD player and listen.

The song ends, and Ashton’s voice is coming back to him. _Luke, we broke up, yes, but one day we are going to find our way back to each other. You know why?_

He suddenly hears a choked sob from the other end and as Ashton finishes his sentence, Luke knows what to do.

_Because that’s what soul mates do._

*

There’s a loud knocking on his front door and Ashton manages to lift himself up from his bed to check who it is. It’s Saturday, meaning his mother was at work and his siblings were off at their friend’s houses. Ashton had decided that he was going to stay at home and sleep all day but now those plans were dashed by whoever was at the door. Whomever it was had better be okay with him answering the door in his boxers because he wasn’t going to throw clothes on.

When he opens the door, he’s surprised to see Luke.

“I didn’t take you back the first time because you basically called me out in front of the whole school,” Luke starts. “The second time wasn’t you being genuine in any way, shape, or form. It was actually pretty cliché and stupid. The third time was probably the only time I thought about caving and taking you back but then it reminded me of why I broke things off to begin with: you never once said love. The fourth time I wanted to beat the shit out of you because you pretty much rubbed it in my face that I sucked. The fifth time I didn’t even see because I was so _angry._ ”

“And the sixth time?”

Luke steps forward, their chests touching and Luke’s hands at his face as he presses their lips together. Ashton can taste mint toothpaste and coffee, a taste he’s missed for three months, three long months without Luke’s lips. He probably tastes like morning breath but he can’t really bring himself to care too much about his hygiene when Luke is kissing him again.

Ashton is the one who ends it, his eyes still closed. He’s afraid to open them honestly, afraid that if he does it will be discovered that this was all a dream. Luke’s fingertips lightly touch his eyelids and Ashton decides to open them and stare back into the beautiful blue of Luke’s eyes. They both giggle and it’s amazing how Ashton could miss one person’s giggle so much.

“I love you,” Ashton says, kissing Luke’s lips, cheeks, neck, basically anywhere his lips can touch. “I love you so much and I’m so sorry I never told you that.”

Luke just giggles again, only really stopping to gasp as Ashton kisses a certain point on his neck. “I love you too, and apology accepted.” He grabs Ashton’s face so their facing each other once again before he pecks Ashton’s lips.

“Does this mean we’re back together?”

Luke just laughs and kisses him again, this time his tongue welcoming itself back into Ashton’s mouth and well, Ashton takes that as a yes.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at lucasashtons :)


End file.
